I love my house. I love that it’s brick (I grew up in the land of earthquakes and never saw brick houses around as a kid). I love that it has all the character of an 85-year-old house with the modern comforts of a home that’s been carefully updated by its previous owners. And I love the neighborhood it’s in, with its tree-lined streets and walkable restaurants. But it’s not my dream home.
I could just as easily come up with a list of things that drive me nuts about the house, but then I remember why my husband and I bought it. Our intention from the beginning was never for this place to be our forever home, and we were able to lock in a mortgage that reflects that. Here are a few of the reasons why I’m glad we made that choice.
1. I can afford to spend elsewhere in my life
It makes me really happy that I can comfortably spend money in other areas rather than dropping the majority of my paycheck into my mortgage each month. Whether it’s travel, dining out, or treating myself to a massage, I know my budget can handle slightly higher expenses in other categories because my monthly housing costs are so manageable.
Home ownership expenses go beyond just a mortgage. They can include property taxes, home insurance, utilities, and maintenance and repairs. When determining how much house you can afford, it’s important to keep all of these line items in mind. The general advice is that your housing costs shouldn’t exceed 28% of your income.
Since my husband and I chose not to stretch our home-buying budget, we’re well within that 28% range, which means we have “extra” cash we can feel good about spending elsewhere. That’s not to say we drop it all on champagne wishes and caviar dreams each month. But it means we can treat ourselves to nice things without feeling guilty or stressed about how we’ll be able to afford it out of our personal finances.
2. I don’t know if I’ll move cities again
After college, I ran straight home to the Bay Area and assumed I’d never leave again. I thought no place could ever compete, so why live anywhere else? It took a lot for me to pack up and move away, but now that I have, I have a totally different mindset. I’m really happy living in Milwaukee (much more so than anyone ever assumes when they hear where I moved from) and I don’t have any plans to move away.
But that’s just the thing — I didn’t have plans to move before either. I’m much more open now to the idea that another city, another state, could offer a lot of great things that I don’t have access to now, and I want to be flexible enough to let that happen.
If we had splurged on a forever home, we could potentially feel stuck if we ever get the itch to move again. If we’d spent months or years searching for our perfect home, or dropped a ton of money on renovations to make it match our dream spot, it would be really hard to let go of when life comes calling.
3. My tastes in a home might change
I’m really pleased with the size of home and property we currently have. There aren’t a bunch of empty rooms to clean, and we have enough yard to do some gardening and enjoy a patio lunch in the sunshine without having all our weekend hours taken up by chores. But who’s to say this is the size house I’ll want in five years, or 10?
Maybe we’ll want to travel even more in the future, and it will feel wasteful to have this size home sitting empty while we’re away so much. Or maybe we’ll get absolutely sick of shoveling snow and raking leaves and will want to move to a townhome with no yard work required.
While I know what makes me happy right now, I also know that change is inevitable, and I can’t predict what I’ll want down the line. By not tying myself to a big mortgage payment and a home perfectly tailored to who I am now, I have the opportunity to find another home for my future self down the road, if that’s the way the dice roll.
Don’t worry about chasing the perfect home
As much as I used to love watching home renovation shows or scrolling dreamily through real estate listings, I’m really glad I didn’t try to land my forever home. While your house should be comfortable and bring you joy, it may not be worth trying to check every box on your dream list.
If you’re looking to buy a house, consider what features are most important to you and aim to find those, but be willing to compromise on some of the nice-to-haves. By letting go of your dream home, you just might be able to work toward your dream life instead.
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