Is having an abortion crossing the line? What about two abortions? What about three, four, five? By the time most women procure their second, third, fourth abortion, there is no line, and she may be so deep in depression, regret and anger that she cannot even recall how she got to that point. There is a way out though and that’s what former Pussycat Dolls singer, Kaya Jones, bravely revealed when she decided to talk about her own three abortions.
She didn’t go and “shout” her abortions in efforts to normalize the procedure and make sure that line between right and wrong is as unambiguous as possible. She gave a heartbreaking interview about the regret she felt after choosing abortion, not once or twice, but three times.
Her insight into how easy it was to choose abortion after that first time is telling. Yes, it is a slippery slope because once you learn to justify bad behavior and bad decisions, the darkness only grows more dense and oppressive. It is not freeing to choose abortion as those who want to shout their abortions tell you.
Unfortunately, I can relate all too easily to Kaya. I put some thought into my first abortion. I felt I had a good reason, so I went ahead and did it. The line between right and wrong became a blur. For my second abortion, it was a lot easier, and I started slipping down the slope. It was what some people would call an obvious choice given my circumstances because, really, it’s not hard to justify the wrong decision, especially if you’ve already done it once or twice.
My abortion decisions did not just affect me though. Since I worked at and ran a Planned Parenthood facility in Texas at the time, it became much easier to help women justify their own abortions who came through our doors. If they were wavering, I could almost always sway them to choose abortion. It was easy money.
It was through seeing an abortion happen on an ultrasound screen in front of me that ultimately changed my view and led me to leave Planned Parenthood. However, I distinctly remember women coming into the abortion clinic to have their seventh, eighth or ninth abortions. It was just another day for them and secretly, my conscience was pricked.
That’s a lot of abortions. They obviously had no line drawn in the sand or if they did, it was wiped away long ago. When did they fall down that slippery slope? After which abortion did they decide that this was their new way of life? More importantly, did they ever have that moment of epiphany where they realized what they did and the immensity of their decisions?
For Kaya, that moment was seeing two little girls looking up at her during a concert after she had her abortions. I know what that feels like – the emptiness, the regret, the anger, the feelings of worthlessness. All of those emotions are so common for both women and men who have experienced abortion but of course, this isn’t talked about.
If the abortion industry wants abortion to be mainstream and accessible, they should be brutally honest not only about what happens during an abortion but what happens afterward, including the destructive emotions that can wreak havoc after a woman has realized what she’s done.
One maternal suicide study done in Italy in 2019 revealed that suicides among mothers who had abortions were twice those of mothers who had given birth. Another study done in Finland in the mid-1990s on the same subject showed that women who had abortions were six times as likely to commit suicide than women who gave birth.
In the United States, a study was conducted on 173,000 women on Medicaid in California and it found that women who had abortions had a significantly higher risk of dying in the eight years following their abortion. It also found these same women had a staggering 154% higher risk of death by suicide than women who did not have an abortion.
It’s not true that women feel fine after their abortions. They may feel initial relief but speaking from my own experiences, from the experiences of more than 630 former abortion workers I’ve helped through my ministry, and from the experiences of the thousands of abortions I helped to facilitate, there is significant pain after an abortion or multiple abortions. Once that line is crossed between right and wrong, so many people don’t even see the precipice they are standing on until they are falling.
The good news, like Kaya Jones said, is that there is hope and healing after abortion if women and men want to find it. There are multiple programs available for abortion healing. While abortion is an irreversible decision, choosing to live with the regret, pain, hurt, anger, and depression is not. I found forgiveness through the great mercy of God and through the love of my husband and family.
This journey has not been easy but the healing and mercy I’ve found has been worth the effort, and it is my sincere hope that women and men who are suffering after their abortions know that there is hope and healing for them, that just because they fell down that slippery slope doesn’t mean they need to stay in the darkness.
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